Over and over I kept saying that all I had to do was to get up walk down the hall to the front door of my apartment and out. Christ i was already dressed, I remember the nurse saying the day before as we sat in the living room that if you put enough effort in the results will surely follow. She was the one who had open the window in the bedroom hoping that this would give me some motivation. It was body that was the result of me not being able to move. The nurse had told me to be prepare. That afternoon I remember hearing the kids playing in the backyard,the great motivator had made sure the window had been opened,before all of this had happened. Their voices were full of joy while I laid motionless. Still it was a reminder of what I had needed to do in order for me to move. Just to get up,I kept saying but as hard as I tried I couldn’t move. Effort,results,effort,results,I was slowly beginning to drift off,the fight had taken its toll, I blanked out falling into a frustrated sleep, I don’t know for how long. But when I woke up I was in my car with it running………..